The Last Straw

(A little story for you)

The Last Straw

A Tale from Postaland

Everywhere he wanted to go, Rooster rode the Camel. Camel did all the work; Rooster gave the orders and Camel followed them because the Law was on Rooster's side and so was the News Media and Educational System. Sometimes Camel even believed Rooster had the right to ride him. But sometimes Camel got angry and doubted Rooster's claim to power.

One day Rooster was riding Camel near a strange village when he saw another Rooster putting a straw roof on his hut. This impressed Rooster deeply because his hut was roofed with leaves. Even though the leaves kept out the rain just fine, using straw was a new style that Rooster had seen in a magazine and he was jealous.

"I want a thatched roof for my hut!" Rooster told Camel.

"I suppose you'll want me to carry the straw," Camel said, but he said it so quietly Rooster didn't hear him.

"I want you to carry the straw," Rooster said. "We'll start tomorrow. Don't worry," Rooster added reassuringly, "a straw is very small and light and you won't have any trouble carrying some."

And the next day they went out to the fields and began to gather the straw. It was a Monday and Camel was feeling good, so when Rooster put the first straw on his back Camel didn't even feel it.

"This is an easy job," Camel thought. "Rooster is not such a bad fellow after all."

It wasn't until Rooster placed the 104th straw on Camel's back that Camel even felt the weight of the straw.

"Piece of cake," Camel told Rooster. "Nothing like an easy government job." (Rooster was part of the government, although Camel could seldom see how Rooster was qualified to govern anything.)

When Rooster placed the 117,432nd straw on Camel's back, Camel felt proud of his muscles. He wished there were some other Camels around so he could compete with them at straw-carrying. He was confident he could kick their butts.

When Rooster placed straw number 231,117 on Camel's back, Camel began to sweat. Rooster was dressed in fine clothes because he never sweated, but Camel had to wear jeans and a t-shirt because he often sweated profusely while Rooster did nothing.

"How many more straws are you going to put on my back?" Camel asked Rooster when Rooster placed the 343,267th straw on his back.

"Don't worry," said Rooster, holding up a straw, "this is not really an added function. See? This straw is so light you won't even feel it when I put it on your back."

And sure enough, Camel couldn't even feel the difference between the 343,267th straw and straw number 343,268.

"You Camels are always making mountains out of molehills," Rooster admonished. That made Camel feel guilty for questioning Rooster. "The straw must go on the roof," he thought.

When Rooster placed the 457,938th straw on Camel's back, Camel began to feel some weakness in his back and legs.

"Why are you putting so many straws on my back?" Camel asked Rooster, sweating profusely. "Aren't you satisfied with 400,000? Why do you need more?"

"In Indianapolis," Rooster replied, "the Camels carry 750,000 straws at a time and they even bend over and pick up the loose straws off the floor and add them to the pile on their backs. I can't see why you don't want to do that. After all," Rooster said, holding up a straw, "a straw is so small and light. You mean to tell me you can't carry just one more?"

And he placed another straw on Camel's back and, sure enough, Camel could not tell the difference between the weight of 457,938 and 457, 939 straws.

"See?" Rooster said. "You Camels are paranoid. Why, we're a team! Together we move the straw. To show you we're on the same team, I’m going to give you an incentive. $20 every pay period that you beat Indianapolis."

The count of straws had now reached 571,429 and Camel was staggering.

"I go home tired at night just from carrying you," he told Rooster, "and now you want me to carry more and more straw. I'll have to spend my weekends just resting and never be able to enjoy my life!"

"Nonsense," Rooster said, "you have an easy job. Why, I did it in orientation once for 40 minutes!"

When the 682,262nd straw was put on Camel's back, he began to feel faint.

"I'm not carrying any more!" Camel gasped.

"Oh, piffle!" said Rooster. "You mean to tell me that you can't carry just one more of these little tiny straws? It's not an added function; it's just another of the same kind of functions you're already doing!"

And Rooster placed the 682,263d straw on Camel's back. In the squint of an eye Camel collapsed to the floor with a loud crash, scattering straw everywhere. A terrible pain shot through his back.

"You broke my back!" Camel cried out. "Your greed for straw has broken my back!"

"Nonsense!" declared Rooster. "You've had an accident. All the times I have stressed safety and here you are, carrying a burden that is too heavy for you in an unsafe manner! You will get a letter for this!"

"Rooster, I've had enough of your bird-brained shenanigans!" shouted Camel. "I'm not carrying any more straw for you!"

Hearing this, Rooster thought to himself, "this Camel is not only lazy, over-paid and accident-prone, but he's rebellious as hell! I'll have to get rid of him and get me a transitional Camel and a sub." He called Security and had Camel carried out because he was afraid of Workplace Violence.

But the casual Camels and transitional Camels, the sub Camels and the other career Camels had all heard about what had happened to Camel, and they got together and in a meeting they told Rooster that they, too, wouldn't carry any straw, or, if they did carry straw, they wouldn't carry Rooster, while if they carried Rooster, they wouldn't carry straw.

Rooster couldn't seem to grasp this concept, so when Camel had won his Camel's Comp case and healed and came back to work, there was Rooster, still running around trying to get the sub Camels to carry more straw than the regular Camels and the casual Camels to carry more straw than the transitional Camels.

But by now all the Camels saw he was a fool and just laughed at him.

The End